Hi, everyone! This is Tillie. Now it’s my turn! I have so many things to say about our lives here in Whimsieville, but I would be remiss if I didn’t start by telling you all about Mr. Squee the Dog Catcher.
Whimsieville is a very small town, and we don’t need any government officials. We don’t really need a Mayor (though Miss Chrissy sometimes like to think of herself as Mayor, but most of the time, there’s really nothing for her to do as Mayor). We don’t need a mailman, since no one writes to us (though anybody who visits us here on The Computer is more than welcome to write to us by leaving A Comment). We don’t need a garbage man, because we Whimsies are very clean and don’t create any garbage. At first we thought it would be nice to have a Librarian, because all of us love to read, but when we got to Whimsieville we found Miss Chrissy and The Man already had a good selection of books and movies, and they generously allow us access to their extensive collection, trusting us to return items to the shelf when we are done. (Which we do.)
So all these positions are not needed in Whimsieville. So why then, do we need a Dog Catcher?
Well, it all starts with my friend Tessie. If you’ve read her story, you know the horrible truth that years ago she was abducted by dogs (or wolves!) and ever since then she has had an overwhelming and paralyzing fear of dogs (and wolves). She doesn’t even like to look at pictures of them in books. She can barely stand to hear anyone even say the word “dog” so a lot of times we spell it out for her, instead of saying it.
But it’s best not to talk to Tessie about dogs at all. And Trixie is not much better. Back when we were all living in The Hoard, and Tessie told her story to me and Trixie, poor Trixie was so absorbed by the tale, and so sympathetic, that she ALSO has now developed a paralyzing fear of dogs. Trixie is such a good friend, that if you hate something, then she hates it too.
I don’t particularly care for dogs, either, but I would have to say I am not PARALYZED with fear. I respect that dogs can be dangerous, and I certainly don’t want any in Whimsieville, but I am still willing to read 
books that have dogs in them. (In fact, I have an upcoming feature for this Website that has a little something to do with dogs, and I’m hoping to get that going in just a few days now.)
Anyway, when we all got to Whimsieville, we were of course delighted to find that there are no dogs here! Yea! But that wasn’t good enough for Tessie. She still kept thinking that maybe somehow dogs would be able to INTO Whimsieville. And she made Trixie be afraid of that too. So we all put our heads together and tried to think up some way to stop being afraid of dogs.
So here’s what we came up with:
In Whimsieville, there is a Cat. His name is Mr. Squee. He is a big black cat with beautiful green eyes, but it seemed to us that Mr. Squee does not really do much all day except lay around resting and relaxing. So we thought maybe we could persuade him to take on the position of Whimsieville Dog Catcher. We talked to Miss Chrissy about it, and she said it would do Mr. Squee some good to have a job, so he 
wouldn’t just lay around like a lump on a log all the time. She also told us that Mr. Squee is exceptionally fond of CATNIP, so we worked out a plan with Mr. Squee that if he keeps his eyes open for dogs and protects us in case any get into Whimsieville, we will make sure that he gets at least one serving of catnip per day.
That sounded like a good deal to Mr. Squee, and he accepted our proposal. Right way, Tessie and Trixie felt a lot better. In fact, they felt so 
good, that soon they began to believe that the reason why there are no dogs in Whimsieville is BECAUSE Mr. Squee is doing such a grand job as Dog Catcher.
I was not so sure about that. It seemed to me there are probably not any dogs in or around Whimsieville, so Mr. Squee didn’t really have to do a lot for his Daily Catnip. Sure, he sometimes patrols the perimeter of Whimsieville, looking for all the world like he is on the lookout for dogs, but I watch him very carefully sometimes, and I’m convinced he’s not looking for dogs at all, he’s just looking for grass to eat (BLEAH!!!), and warm spots of sunshine to lay down in. So…huh!! Seems this lazy old cat has just landed himself the cush-iest job in existence!
But then one day, something happened that made me completely change my mind about Mr. Squee. It happened one night when Trixie was getting a Beauty Treatment, and Tess and I were just hanging around, 
jabbering. All of the sudden we heard something that sounded like a…a HOWLING!! It could have been a dog! It could have been a WOLF!!! ARGGGH!!! Oh no, not a wolf!!
I was scared, and Tessie was petrified! But Mr. Squee was NOT. He jumped right up to protect us. Turns out, there was nothng there, just a noise from outside the borders of Whimsieville, but our protector was not taking any chances! Mr. Squee leapt to our defense, shielding us from potential danger.
I’m so glad he was there with us that day! And ever since, I do not begrudge him his Daily Catnip. I have decided Mr. Squee is worth his WEIGHT in catnip! And as you can see, that translates out to A LOT of catnip! Because our Dog Catcher Mr. Squee is one HUGE and intimidating fellow!
Since that horrible incident, we have not heard anything else that sounds like dogs (or wolves). Everyone is calming down and going about their business. We feel very comfortable and SAFE here in Whimsieville.
In fact, I feel so safe here, but so concerned about my friends, that I think maybe it is time to do something to help both Tessie and Trixie get over their fear of dogs. I’m not saying they’ll ever want to go to the Pet Store and buy a puppy, but I would like to see them at least be able to read a book with dogs in it, without getting all nervous and crazy.
So I’ve searched the bookshelves of Our People, and have found this wonderful little book called Go, Dog, Go. It’s all about dogs, but it’s a CHILDREN’S book, so it is not scary. I’m hoping that some time soon I can get Tess and Trix to sit down with me and we all read this book together.
But that may have to wait a few days, because coming up very soon…there is going to be a very special show on TV that we have all been waiting to see: Marvel Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.!!! As Trixie explained to you last time, she is a big fan of Comics, and her enthusiasm has rubbed off on the rest of us, so now we are all excited about seeing this new show, which is sort of about the world of Comics. Trixie is hoping Thor will make an appearance. I don’t know about that…but I do know we will all have something to say after we see the new S.H.I.E.L.D. show. So the next time you hear from us, it will be for a Round Table Discussion of… S.H.I.E.L.D.!!!
Can’t wait! See you then!!
