Last time, Tessie wrote about Whimsies who always have their eyes closed, and how weird that is. This time, I’m writing about a particular Whimsie I’ve discovered who always has her eyes open — WIDE open!! In fact, I would say freakishly wide open! And look at her eyelashes!! Way too many eyelashes. No ordinary Whimsie has that many eyelashes.
Personally, I think she looks a little scary.
Her name is Annie, and if we are to believe her PR, she’s an astronaut. Now, why in the world a Whimsie would ever want to travel into outer space is simply beyond me. Everything here on earth is so cozy and comfortable, why would you want to go to a place where not only are there no blankets and pillows and warm jammies and friends and pretty flowers, but there also happens to be NO AIR. Hello! Did you hear me?? NO AIR. That doesn’t sound comfortable at all.
But this one, Annie the Astronaut, is all decked out in her bright gold astronaut uniform, and doesn’t she just look ready for traveling to distant planets? She’s so wide-eyed with wonder over the whole idea of interplanetary travel that her eyes are just about popping out of her head!
First of all, who ever heard of a Whimsie with green eyes? Well, there is one other I’ve seen, her name is Fannie, but her eyes look normal while being green. Annie’s eyes most decidedly do not look normal. I’m guessing maybe she got herself into a place where there wasn’t quite enough oxygen, and the pressure started to make her eyes bug out. Ouch! Uncomfortable…
But that’s not all! Check out her hands and feet! They’re blue! And it’s not like she’s wearing blue gloves and blue shoes. No! We’re supposed to believe she’s wearing gloves and shoes, but if you look closely, it’s her actual hands and feet that are blue! How does that equal being an astronaut? Now, I’ve been around a while, and I’ve seen quite a few trips to the moon on television, but in all my years, I’ve never seen NASA send someone into outer space with blue paint on their hands and feet! What is the purpose of that, anyway?
The more I think about this, the worse it gets…
Oh! And here’s one more thing. Here’s another picture, of another one called “Annie the Astronaut.” You’ll notice she also has that peculiar wide-eyed stare, and the blue hands and feet, but this one has long, long hair, and the other has short, short hair. Now, maybe it’s the same gal, and she just pulled her hair up for the other picture, but if you ask me, it might be possible that there are a LOT of these Annie the Astronauts out there, like they’re….CLONED or something! Like maybe they’re robots, or from another planet!! Maybe they’re aliens, and this whole “Astronaut” thing is just a cover story for why they’re here on earth, but secretly, their plan is to conquer our planet and give us all blue hands and blue feet, and make us all stare off into space like that, like we’re possessed…
Okay, okay. I know what you’re saying. That Trixie, she reads too many comic books. She’s letting her imagination run away with her. Well, I agree, I do read a lot of comic books, and what I’m suggesting does indeed sound like a plot from a comic book story, but on that second point…no, not really. I don’t think I’m letting my imagination run away with me. I think it’s perfectly reasonable of me to be concerned about a Whimsie who looks so abnormal. It almost looks like there’s nothing behind those wide green eyes—no intelligence behind that empty-eyed stare. Well, it’s either that, or maybe too much intelligence! The intelligence of a space creature just waiting to turn us all into interstellar zombies!!!
AaaaaahhhhHH!
And I thought the red devil girl Whimsie was scary! Nope. She’s absolutely adorable in comparison to Annie the Astronaut.
I’m going to have nightmares.
