The Whimsies were in their jammies and cuddled up in front of the TV for last night’s new episode of Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD. After such a long hiatus, and such a cliffhanger ending at th end of the last episode, their enthusiasm could hardly be contained. Afterwards, they let off a little steam about it all.
TRIXIE. Well! At least one thing! Now we know Skye is going to be okay.
TESSIE. Yes! I was a little worried for a while there. I mean, she’s a good character and all, and they really need her, but I don’t entirely trust that Joss Whedon fellow, after some of those Buffy episodes we watched. He doesn’t care who he kills off!
TILLIE. But he hasn’t killed Skye. At least not for now. So that’s our first question answered. But as soon as one question is answered, another one is raised!
TESSIE. I know what you mean!
TILLIE. Do you really? What are you thinking?
TESSIE. That…that thing…that person…that half-person, at the end of the show. The one that’s supplying the GH stuff. Who was that? What was that?
TILLIE. My question exactly! I haven’t got a clue. Perhaps we should consult the expert?
TESSIE. Yes, let’s! Trixie! Tell us!
TRIXIE. Tell you what?
TESSIE. Who…or what…was that thing?
TRIXIE. The blue person in the laboratory? I haven’t got a clue.
TESSIE. What!!
TILLIE. You’re kidding! Trixie! Not really!
TRIXIE. Hey, I’m not actually an ‘expert.’ I’ve just read some more comic books than either of you have. If I had to make a guess—-
TILLIE. —and could we say it was an educated guess?
TRIXIE. Well…yeah…an educated guess….I would say it was some kind of an alien. Probably a Kree. Maybe a Chitauri.
TESSIE. What’s a Chitauri?
TRIXIE. The aliens in the Avengers movie.
TESSIE AND TILLIE. (horrified) Ohhh!!
TRIXIE. But maybe not. Maybe it’s an Atlantian.
TILLIE. You mean…from Atlantis?
TESSIE. Like…like…Sub-Mariner??
TRIXIE. Huh! Tessie! What do you know about Sub-Mariner?
TESSIE. (haughtily) Well…you’re not the only one who reads comics. I’ve seen a few in my day. So really! Do you think it could be….?
TRIXIE. Maybe. Maybe not. I don’t know, really. All I know is it’s not a person.
TESSIE. Well…we know that!
TRIXIE. And it’s not a Whimsie.
TESSIE. (rolls eyes) Obviously…
TILLIE. So then what do we know? A little more than we did before this episode. Or maybe…a little less?
TRIXIE. Do you mean, what do we know about what’s going to happen to Agent Coulson and Skye, since they both have alien blood inside them?
TESSIE. If it IS blood…
TRIXIE. Well, it’s something alien. And they both had it. And it helped them. But that’s only for the time being, right? We don’t know what the long-term effects could be.
TILLIE. So that means, anything could yet happen!
TESSIE. (excitedly) Yeah! Like they could both develop superpowers!
TRIXIE. Maybe. Maybe not.
TILLIE. So we don’t know, do we? Well, is there anything we do know?
TESSIE. Ooh! Ooh! I know this one! We know the Agents have some new friends!
TRIXIE. You mean Garrett? And the other guy, the one who does whatever Garrett needs done. What was his name?
TILLIE. Trip! His name was Trip.
TESSIE. What kind of name is that?
TILLIE. Probably a nick name. I think his real name was Triplet.
TESSIE. Heeheee…That’s funny….
TILLIE. But it doesn’t matter. They’re the good guys.
TRIXIE. (meaningfully) Are they?
TESSIE AND TILLIE PAUSE A MOMENT. THEN…
TESSIE. Yes, they are! Of course they are! Why would you say otherwise?
TRIXIE. I’m not saying they’re NOT good guys. I’m just saying I’ve been thinking about something.
TILLIE. About what?
TRIXIE. Well, you guys don’t know Garrett like I do. Sure, he’s a good guy, but…not always so much. There’s always that possibility…
TESSIE. Huh?? So you think he’s a bad guy??
TRIXIE. I’m not saying I think that, I’m not saying he is. I’m just saying he may not be all he appears to be.
TILLIE. Oh, I hope you’re wrong! I liked him. And I liked Trip.
TRIXIE. Then you probably don’t want to hear what I’m going to say next.
TESSIE. Waaaah! You can’t do that, Trixie! You can’t open it up like that, then say ‘I’m not going to tell you!’ That’s not fair!
TILLIE. Yeah! It’s not! What are you talking about? Tell us! Tell us now!!
TRIXIE. Well, it’s nothing I know. It’s just a theory.
TILLIE. Then theorize away!
TRIXIE. Well, it just seems to me that it’s awfully convenient that Garrett is ALSO going after the Clairvoyant at the same time the Agents are. He shows up just in time for everyone to get all gung-ho about finding out what actually happened to Coulson, so they can use that to help Skye. I mean, that’s what the Clairvoyant wants to know, right? And all of the sudden, the Agents are going after it, and what do you know, there’s Garrett!
TILLIE. (after a pause) You’re crazy!
TESSIE. No, wait, Till. Just wait. Maybe not. As she says, it’s awfully convenient…
TILLIE. So you both think Agent Garrett is the Clairvoyant??
TRIXIE. No, not really. I’m just not ruling it out.
TESSIE. You know, she’s right, Till. With this show, you can’t rule anything out. With that Joss Whedon guy, you have to stay on your toes.
TILLIE. Well…I suppose… (suddenly) But there is one thing I think we can rule out at this point. All that talk about Live Model Decoys…that’s out now…right?
TRIXIE. Life Model Decoys. Yeah, I’d say so.
TILLIE. So. Coulson is really Coulson. Not a robot. Glad of THAT much!
TRIXIE. Yes. But it remains to be seen what he might become.
TESSIE. Or what Skye might become. Like, now that they both have alien blood inside them, maybe they’ll get…superpowers!
TRIXIE. Oh! So you’re back to that again, huh?
TILLIE. Alright already, alright. Let’s stop all this supposing and talk about what we DO know.
TESSIE. And what is that?
TILLIE. Well, we all know what part of the show we liked best! I have a favorite part. I’d like to hear what you two have to say.
TRIXIE. (never skipping a beat) I liked when May beat Ian Quinn to a pulp.
TESSIE. (horrified) You would!
TILLIE. So bloody! So gory!
TRIXIE. Yeah! But he deserved it!
TESSIE. (nodding) He did…
TILLIE. So, what about you, Tess? What did you like?
TESSIE. (blushing) I liked when they were in that medical place in the mountain, and the bombs were going to blow everything up, and Fitz said, ‘ …the whole mountain’s going to blow!’ Or something like that.
TILLIE. (puzzled) You liked that they were in mortal danger for their lives?
TESSIE. No! Not at all. I liked the way he said it, with his accent. It was so cute.
TRIXIE. Yeah, I know what she means. And it was kind of funny, exactly because everything was so serious, and dangerous, and right in the middle of it all, here’s Fitz with his adorable little accent. Haha! Good one, Tess!
TILLIE. Okay! Okay! Enough about Fitz already! Can I tell you what I liked?
TESSIE. Do tell!
TILLIE. I liked at the end, when Agent Garrett said that his man Trip kind of had a thing for Simmons.
TRIXIE. Oh, yeah! He did say that!
TESSIE. So, why is that such a good thing?
TILLIE. Because poor Simmons! She’s such a nice girl, very pretty and friendly and all, and Fitz won’t be her boyfriend, so it would be nice if she had SOMEBODY. And that guy Trip seemed okay.
TESSIE. (indignantly) Why are you picking on Fitz? Don’t you understand? He can’t be her boyfriend! They’re like…they’re like… brother and sister! They’ve known each other forever, they probably went to kindergarten together! They’re like family!
TILLIE. Well, yeah…I guess you’re right…
TRIXIE. So then Tillie’s right, too, isn’t she, Tess? I mean, to want to see Simmons find someone.
TILLIE. I think they got along good. They had a nice moment together.
TRIXIE. Okay, okay. Wait a minute. Let’s back up a minute. Now it’s my turn to ask you both something.
TESSIE. What is it?
TRIXIE. Well, it’s about what you just said, Tess. About Fitz and Simmons being like family. And I agree with you. They are. But what about…Skye?
TESSIE. You mean when the doctor came in and said ‘You should notify her family,’ and Agent Coulson said, ‘We ARE her family.’
TRIXIE. Yes! That exactly. What did you think about that?
TILLIE. Do you mean…do we really see all of them as one big happy family?
TRIXIE. Well, maybe not necessarily ‘happy,’ but do you see them as a family?
TILLIE AND TRIXIE THINK A MOMENT. THEN…
TILLIE. No, I don’t think so.
TESSIE. Not really.
TRIXIE. Neither do I. That didn’t sound right to me.
TILLIE. Yeah. It sounded…forced.
TESSIE. But wait. Except for one thing. I mean, I agree, the whole bunch of them don’t really seem so much like a family, but think about Skye. She’s an orphan. She doesn’t have any family. So, yeah…these guys are like the most family she’s got.
TRIXIE. (sadly) I think you’re right…
TILLIE. Yeah…poor Skye…shot in the stomach, and no real family…
TESSIE. But they all pull together like a family, and do everything they can to help her!
TILLIE. I think maybe…maybe some day in the future, after the whole bunch of them have been together for a long time, and they’ve been through a lot more stuff together, maybe someday, maybe then they’ll feel more like a family. To us, I mean.
TESSIE. I think we’re moving in that direction.
TILLIE. And especially, think about Joss Whedon!
TRIXIE. Do we have to? I’m not really sure I like this guy so much.
TESSIE. Why not?
TRIXIE. Because you never know when he’s going to kill someone. You can’t trust him.
TILLIE. I agree. You can’t. But one thing you can be sure of. Given enough time, he’ll take a ragtag bunch of misfits, and make them feel like a family.
TESSIE. You’re thinking about Buffy again, aren’t you?
TILLIE. Exactly! He did it with Buffy, and with Angel, and I think he can do it with SHIELD too. He just needs more time.
TRIXIE. Yeah, well, that’s what I’m afraid of.
TESSIE. Afraid? Of what?
TRIXIE. Haven’t you heard what The Man’s said about Joss Whedon? He says Joss Whedon doesn’t just kill off characters. Oh, no! First he makes you CARE about them. A lot. And THEN he kills them.
AFTER A MOMENT’S CONSIDERATION…
TILLIE. Oh no! It’s true! It’s true! Think about Buffy! Think about Angel!
TESSIE. I don’t want to think about them! It’s too sad!
TRIXIE. Okay, okay. I’m sorry I said anything. I don’t want everyone getting into a funk. For right now, everything’s okay with SHIELD, right?
TESSIE. Yes. For now…
TRIXIE. So we’ll just keep watching and see what happens.
TESSIE. Well…well…I think I want to see Skye and Agent Coulson get superpowers. And then…then if they have superpowers, you know what I want them to do?
TILLIE. No. What?
TESSIE. I want them to kick Joss Whedon right off the show!!
TRIXIE. Tessie!
I’m afraid this evening, which had begun so brightly, rapidly deteriorated after this, as Tessie eventually convinced Trixie and Tillie that something had to be done about Joss Whedon and his murderous tendencies.
I eventually had to step in and remind them all that it’s just a show. I tried to steer the conversation away from SHIELD and on to another BIG TV Event that we’ve been anticipating for months, the updated Cosmos series about the entire universe, which begins this coming Sunday. This gave them all some perspective, and at last, the three Whimsies were able to settle down, with only a few sniffles, and quietly drift off to sleep to dream about suns, and stars and moons in the unlimited heavens above.
